he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
40s are totally the cure
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
