Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The power of my boobs compel you
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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