Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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