what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
