so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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