so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
