i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
