apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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