i just wanna soil my oats bro
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
