margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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