She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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