I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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