I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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