are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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