she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
is wine microwaveable?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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