glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
