I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize