I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
