I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
