Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
