is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
