He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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