ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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