paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
