I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
