What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
