i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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