There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize