How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
