Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
So. Much. Porn.
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