And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
