yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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