when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
