you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
