I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
