Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
