Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My hand turned me down
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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