Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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