So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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