I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
