she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
