It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
