Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize