I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
When did angry sex become our thing?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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