My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
