don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
