So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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