i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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