I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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