wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I intend to get homeless drunk
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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