we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
