Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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