32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
