So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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