I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
