FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
