Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize