yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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