If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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